Happy birthday to me!

Sooo... yeah. I haven't posted in a while. Anyone who knows anythigng about my sechedule will understand. First, I went through four weeks of hell before we went off-campus to our long-term facility and the week before that I got sick so I was behind on assignments which has then put me behind on reading. We just had a test today that was over reading and as of this morning I got 3/4 of it done. Meh. I think I did alright on the test. Fortunately, I don't have to have an 80% on every test to pass the class but all my tests in the class have to average out to an 80% so I can afford one or two tests just below an 80.
I've been having a hard time dealing with the fact that I have to take pills six times a day and remembering all of them. Some I have to take with food, others I have to take on an empty stomach so I have to be careful when I eat. Mom got me a pill box two weeks ago and I found that really helped. If I miss some pills I can just see them in the box. They're a lot easier to carry around too, like when I have clinicals and stuff.
So, clinicals. They're interesting. Mostly I'm scared out of my wits. I am great with the one-on-one therapeutic relationship stuff but when it comes to actually doing nursing assignments I am so afraid that I'm going to miss something. I'm actually doing a physical assessment on my patient tomorrow under the watchful eye of my instructor. I'm definately going to be doing some review tonight. One intersting thing about my patient is that she has short-term memory loss so I doubt she will even remember me come tomorrow. I hope she just doesn't change her mind about being so cheerful and helpful.
Mostly, I can tell I am losing focus on God. I am being too down, spending too much time thinking about myself and how hard life is instead of taking the times that I can't focus enough to study just to read the Bible or something like that. Focusing on oneself and your own problems are how you get depressed. I can tell I'm getting that way. I also know that when I have quiet time I always study better during the day. I really need to be better about getting up early to do my quiet times and taking time during the day when I can't afford to lose the sleep.
I think at this point God is trying to make life as hard as I can stand it so I will admit that I can't do everythnig myself. I have always been a "go-get'em" person with a lot of energy and he has taken that away from me during one of the times in my life that would be very valuable. I wish I could put up some hyper spiritual post about how God is working in my life and I am learning lessons but I'm still going through the fire right now and I'm having a hard time getting all this information from my head to my heart. I've told God many times that I know I can't do this on my own, that I need his strength to complete school and the things he wants me to do here but I'm having a hard time keeping from moping around all the time. I've found that studying is a pretty good diversionary tool.
Yay for diversionary tools! :P
Anyway... mom's coming to pick me up again so we can go shopping. I am taking the afternoon off from studying.... but not the evening. She wants me to pick out some clothes for my birthday from a boutique store she found in downtown Kent. I'm really looking forward to this weekend. My sister planned some grand surprise party for me this weekend. I just know about what time to be ready and who all is coming. Even Megan (a girl I've known for over 10 years) says I'm really going to enjoy it.
Yay!